The Fear of Balance
A risk of being inauthentic and alienating ourselves into a box.
On Balance
So often we hear about the extremes and polarities in life. I’m an introvert or I’m an extrovert. I’m a liberal or I’m conservative. I’m assertive or I’m humble. Because identifying as both of something risks appearing inauthentic.
I think the reason people struggle with the idea of balance is because it’s simply not sexy. You don’t hear about it because the loudest voices are always on the ends of the spectrum, claiming their territory of identity. But that’s not the reality the majority of us experience.
The truth is we’re all human, there’s no one-size-fits-all solution or way of doing anything—regardless of how much we try to squeeze the square peg into a round hole.
Life is much more gray than advertised. An effort to make life black and white is a bit lazy. It’s a form of decision automation, trying to outsource the structure of our life design. Sure a rigid framework can be less fatiguing, but at what cost? We ought to interact in the world with relativity, not machines on autopilot.
“Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself. I am large, I contain multitudes.” — Walt Whitman
Some situations call for a leader to be more direct and decisive to keep people motivated. Other times a situation calls for a leader to take pause, listen, be more empathetic and understanding. It’s not one or the other, but rather both, relative to the context at the time.
It’s balance.
Try to visualize this with me.
Take a second and imagine you have to choose between inhaling or exhaling. You have to choose one, only one, for the rest of your life. Which do you choose?
The question’s absurd right?! You can’t have one without the other, it’s all relative. Both are necessary elements to sustain human life.
So then why do we try to fit ourselves into these absurd narratives, identities, and boxes in life?
Now take a deep inhale. Once you can’t sip any more air, exhale and release the breath—now you have a complete, balanced, system.
A question to ponder, journal, discuss:
What seemingly contradictory beliefs and identities make up your authentic self?
Balance beautifully
How do you balance the simply with the beautifully? Some may say The simple is beautiful Some will challenge Complex is best Others will claim Beauty is to be seen Flourished and flashed There must be a balance Between the concise and complex For if you add too much water there’ll be no taste around Rather not any at all and you’ll blow out the sound The whisper and blare Running through the air Trying to find its flair The harmonious blend of each Creating the most decadent treat
For more on this idea of balance, I recommend checking out my friend, Kai Mckinney’s blog, called, moving balance.
“a philosophy about navigating complexity, ambiguity, and totality through iteration and experimentation; an acknowledgement that nothing is static or cleanly defined—that the world and our way through it is continuous and fluid.”
Other recommendations to dive deeper into the rabbit hole of balance:
Creator Science podcast with Derek Sivers: How to Find Balance and Stay Focused (I timestamped a specific section at 20 minutes in on balance, but the entire conversation is worth a listen!)
Article on the Polarities Framework